We are thrilled so many of you loved our blog post on how to set boundaries when wedding planning! This month, Laura from The Clear Space is back providing top tips on how to avoid wedding planning burnout.
Planning your big day should be an exciting time for you, however, burn out can be real if you don’t look after yourself and overwhelm yourself with tasks!
Over to Laura for so much welcomed advice…
If you’ve been following this series you’ve probably noticed that I keep reinforcing the point that anything you’re experiencing as part of your wedding planning isn’t happening in isolation. If you’re totally exhausted from the events of the past few years, along with the current state of the world, you’re definitely not alone.
Throwing a huge project like planning a wedding into the mix, even though it’s a fun and wonderful thing for you to look forward to, can feel like a lot.
A study by Winona State University defined 5 stages of burnout¹. We’re talking about the first three stages here today.
- The Honeymoon: you’re driven, excited and full of energy and creativity. Think that first push into planning, when you’re checking out venues, thinking about themes and talking to suppliers. If your coping strategies are positive and adaptive you might stay in this stage.
- Balancing: it starts to feel like you’re juggling things. Some days are better than others, and stress might start to creep in, you might feel fatigued, and your sleep might be disturbed as thoughts of all the things you need to do buzz around in your head.
- Chronic: you might find your feelings at stage 2 intensify, along with feelings of fatigue, exhaustion, and experiences of physical illness, along with stress, depression or anxiety.
So how can you manage things at stage 1, to stop your burn out progressing?
We talked about this in January’s post about stress. If you know you’re someone who throws themselves into things with 150% energy, or you’re already feeling exhausted, think about what capacity you have, and what time scales are realistic. You might want a huge 200 person wedding this summer, but will you enjoy wedding planning more if you give yourself a longer lead in time? Or less to plan?
What changes can you make, for quick wins?
Can you set aside one day a week where you don’t do anything that’s work or wedding planning related? Can you and your partner spend some time together, where you don’t talk about wedding stuff? Maybe you can reevaluate your existing commitments and scale a few back things? If you’re adding something to your day to day workload, see where you can make some space.
Self care self care self care!
Yeah, it can feel like a buzz word but self care makes a huge difference to your resilience. Getting enough rest, moving your body, getting enough nutrients, staying hydrated, and finding time for the things that bring you joy are all a good starting place. Try to do one thing every day that’s all about looking after yourself.
We talked about this in last month’s post. Having clear, workable boundaries can protect us, and help us to be more resilient. It also helps us to manage other people’s expectations of what we do and don’t have the capacity for.
Share the Load
Talk to someone about how you’re feeling. Co-regulation is the way we interact with other people, and when we’re stressed or struggling, our interactions with others can really help. Did you know when you co-regulate with people who you feel safe with, your body releases oxytocin? You can also get a lovely dose of this by hugging.
What are your strategies for dealing with burn out?
- Winona State University